possibility June 4, 2012

artwork created in art studio for children

Sometimes when my day is tough or too long or too short or too seeped in stuff not so good

I go down the stairs to the basement

past the socks that need sorting

past the files that need filing

and I walk  into my art studio

I might lie down in there for a few minutes

or I might pick up some paint and mix it with another

because I love colour so much

or maybe I will just look around and think about how romantic it is

to have a space completely dedicated to possibility

I am really proud of how well this particular project went. It was made in a class we call ARTISTS WANTING MORE. Click here for a little on how this came to be

once bitten, twice shy June 3, 2012

The human spirit is an amazing thing.

I can almost always convince myself that my life is the very best, that I have everything that I need, that I like myself and feel my power but  lately now and then it creeps up on me

I feel at times like someone took a big bite out of my life and did not replace the piece they took.

That no matter what I do, something is  missing.

It comes at the strangest times.

This is new. I am taking it as a signal for change.

I feel this at times even though I try to fit in as many deposits as I can to  my RESP account (registered emotional saving account). Click here for a little on this interesting notion

the 3 stages of a man’s life May 30, 2012

dating

marriage

divorce

When is man’s greatest moment? No, not when he takes the trash out. But when he is completely and utterly romantic from the heart. His kind of romantic, not cookie cutter insincere cheesy romantic but from the heart romantic. Please take a look a my other post to see a man doing just that. Vulnerable . Adorable. Creative. And if you don’t love it I don’t want to hear about  it, tin man.

sneaking around May 28, 2012

 

You know that when you call running shoes sneakers that you are  sort of a fake runner.

You know that when you give them your phone number at the Running Room and they say the last time you bought running shoes was in 2005 that you are pretty much due for a new pair.

You know that when they say take your shoes off and show us how you run in the middle of the store, you feel like they have said ‘take your clothes off and show us how you run’ . Everyone looking. All eyes on whether you pronate. So intimate.

You know that when they say -with a weird look on their faces-you have really really really small feet for your size, they are really trying to say “Wow you are amazing, beautiful and talented and in perfect condition”

Sort of.

There is this fine line between being an absolute goofball with your equipment and ‘needs’ and well, wearing the same running shoes for …ummm ….a little too long. It is a little like ordering coffee at Starbucks. When did everything get so complicated and fussy? As we age we need to know what we like but getting too fussy and precious is a straight line to getting really,really old and persnickety. Click here for fighting the fuss

 

the happiest day of my life May 24, 2012

I know we are supposed to be open to having several or even dozens or more of these in a long and happy life but the other day I found one really was the one.

On the way back from a family dinner on Monday night I was alone with my eldest- who has mere days left on planet mom & me- a few weeks left at school, a flurry of  3 days of packing and off to work at camp for the summer and then home for 4 days and then off to Uni.

She was beside me in the car. We were both having a tender night.

I grabbed her hand and started to tell her about how “the day you were born was the happiest day of my life. All I ever wanted was a chubby baby girl. You were an angel from day one. You have been perfect- absolutely the best thing that ever happened to me. You taught me how to be a mom”

We both cried for 15 blocks

SCREEEEEEEEECH

I spotted a table at the curb. A cute little outdoor table someone had put out to garbage.

Now we are both at the curb craughing (that is crying and laughing if you aren’t female) and putting the little table in our car

A little garbage picking does wonders for your mood.

Dont be ridiculous of course the day #2, AKA sassy pants, was born was the other HAPPIEST DAY OF MY LIFE. Click here for what she has taught me

I am here now May 23, 2012

“Ok, Nancy, I am here now. Have a wonderful day”

My postman, Lloyd.

I am sitting at my desk and the fresh air is flying through the house from back door to front

I can hear the sounds of the city

and the neighbour with allergies sneezing next door

And some birds chatting too

I am getting so much done

The weather is wait- all – year- for-it perfect

And I hear a noise on my doorstep.

I know it is my postman. A great man I have known for 8 years.

He had cancer last year but is better now. I missed him when he was gone

I like my doors open and that  I trust.

I like his voice and him telling me he is there- even though he does not know I am because he cant see me.

Click here for a good saying to live by and think about it. I really love this one

reveal yourself May 17, 2012

Last Friday there was a surprise in my door.

I love to pull into the driveway to find something there

Over the years I have found many things waiting on my doorstep- in no particular order- pharmaceuticals, a cat, a 3 foot fake flower, a boy with a shovel in a snowstorm wanting to help, dinner, a container with 8 snails in it with holes poked in the top (how did you know I wanted snails?), flowers with an ‘I am sorry’ note ,a man in a suit with a smile on his face, a family of 5, an angry ex husband, homemade maple syrup, a box of jewelry, sleeping pills, a book about inspiration, new windshield wiper fluid  on a nasty winter day, flowers, $250 in cash, a bullfrog , a little black dress, a bunny rabbit (and so close to easter) 3 baked potatoes, a wheelchair ramp, cookies, tulips, a golden retreiver who was coming for the weekend and a ‘bouquet’ of sharpies(I love sharpies)

but this one was different.

Inside the wrapping was  a framed quote “Courage is fear that has said it’s prayers”

I don’t know who it is from

Reveal yourself please. I like it and I want to thank you.

This must be my lucky week. Yesterday another surprise- click here for what it was

not yet May 16, 2012

When you arrived back from your prom and we were sitting on my bed the next day- I asked in that juvenile way that I do

“Was it the greatest night ever? The best night of your life?”

And you looked at me and said “It was a great great night but not the greatest ever. I have not had that night yet”

Clever girl. So many lessons around prom worth writing down- click here for notes to my daughter part 2

what ?- you didn’t read part 1- why not? click here for that

you make me look better than I am May 14, 2012

It is a wonderful thing to get notes on mother’s day saying you are a good mom

or even a great mom

because, of course, there are sweeping moments of doubt in a busy life

there are moments of difficulty that challenge you and surprise you

there are moments that call you to be better than you might have been

and you dont always love your performance the way you want to

and people might tell you you have wonderful kids and look at you and wonder what your secret is

and you dare not tell them the truth

that they make you look better at your job then you really are

really

I hope  all of you  had a mother’s day where you felt appreciated and loved. Click here for MY FAVOURITE THING TO DO WITH MY MOM

etre bien dans sa peau May 10, 2012

This is one of my favourite expressions- it means“to be (feel) good in one’s skin”

We know we say it in English-Somehow in French it has deeper meaning especially if you smooth your hands over your body as you say it with a strong accent

I think of how real beauty is so linked to feeling good in one’s skin. There is a sense that that skin fits just right and that being you is smooth and silky and yours-just like that skin.

The beauty of aging is that if you do it right- you feel bien dans sa peau.  Women in their 40s and onwards seem to get this right (unless they don’t) as they move gracefully into that skin.

(Children who are loved seem to be this too- up until 10 or 11 and then it gets knocked out of them too often)

Every couple of months I get an email with a photo- above is the one from last week- from my best friend. She is in her seat on a Friday night. Waiting with excitement  for a concert to begin.

She loves music. She loves to dance. She loves to sing along loudly without any sense/care that anyone is looking.

So if it is not enough to go to a concert and stand on your seat and sway your hips, arms above head singing at the top of your lungs-here is the clincher-

SHE GOES BY HERSELF

(also perhaps more  important to note – she does not drink)

She loves music so much and finds most of her people dont quite love it the same way. So that does not stop her from doing what she loves.

My best friend est bien dans sa peau

words for wednesday – on bribery and parenting- by clicking here